Dear Extra Terrestrial, the planet you just set foot on must have made at least 10 thousand revolutions around the star it circles since we poisoned its atmosphere with carbon dioxide. We humans, the creatures that once walked the face of this planet with almost 9 billion, leave you this instruction so you can safely enjoy the bits and pieces we were unable to consume. We also leave you some lessons we learnt and failed to grasp ourselves until it was too late, we want to share them with you, but first a warning:
Do not open any container with this picture, you will need to wait at least 100.000 revolutions of this planet around our star before the radiation is low enough for biological creatures to handle it
There are large amounts of black stuff in the crust of this planet that will give of heat when you burn it. We discovered it 200 years before we accidentally made the planet uninhabitable. The stuff (we called them fossil fuels) increases the CO2 levels in the atmosphere, we learned that 100 years after we started using it. Even though we knew it would heat the atmosphere to a level not compatible with our existence we decided not to stop using it because of lesson 2
The use of the fossil fuels allowed a very small number of people to collect happiness and prosperity from the rest of humanity. It was widely believed that this transfer of happiness and prosperity was a good thing because eventually this wealth would trickle back down to the rest of humanity. This proved to be a mistake again.
We organized ourselves into something we called “nations”. We appointed leaders to run these nations, but it turned out all they did was collect even more prosperity and happiness from their peoples to go to war with each other. The people of the planet, united to create this message for you, desperately asked the leaders to prohibited the use of fossil fuels, but they wouldn’t listen. Strong advice : Live here in Peace!
At the southern end of this planet, the one with the ice cap, the other pole used to have one too but we accidentally melted it, you will find buried a safe-house with in it specimen of all the plants that once grew here, along with genetic material of all animals. Please handle with care and repopulate the planet. We have taken one wise decision just before the climate derailed and wiped out humanity : we decided not to save ourselves, we do not have belong here. Please do not go looking for any remains of us, we decided we didn’t deserve a second chance, this piece of granite is all that’s left of us.
Enjoy this beautiful spaceship we once called Earth!